fannishliss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fannishliss) wrote2013-07-04 08:58 am
fannishliss) wrote2013-07-04 08:58 am
Entry tags:
31 Day Blog Challenge! Day four: What are you afraid of
There is a fantastic song by one of my favorite singers, Kirsty MacColl (may she rest in peace), called "In These Shoes" (go listen if you've never heard her*). In the song she keeps meeting different men, and one of them says in a Spanish accent, "What are you afraid of?" which is what I keep thinking when I hear this question. :) In that sense -- in the sense of being afraid to try new things or take risks, I'm not really afraid.
But the thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night is the feeling of impending catastrophe, and that it will be ALL MY FAULT. Usually by day that feeling ebbs. I have a job with a lot of responsibility and I literally have to repeat to myself, "If this venture fails, it's not going to start the Apocalypse." I just try to maintain a sense of scope and remind myself to get things done one day at a time. My husband points out that I'm never satisfied until I'm slightly overextended -- but I do have a Type A personality and the high blood pressure to prove it, so I guess that's true.
* My link leads to a live performance on "Later with Jools Holland." We don't get this show in the States, and more's the pity, because everyone awesome performs on it!! In this performance, Kirsty gives a perfect rendition of her song, with two funny aspects: 1, she is wearing extremely sensible shoes, unlike the persona in her song, and 2, she is absolutely deadpan throughout, when she has one of the sharpest wits of any songwriter ever. The album this song is from, "Tropical Brainstorm" is one of my favorite albums of all time. ...It's typical in this journal that I start with "what are you afraid of" and end up digressing about one of my favorite musicians. :D
But the thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night is the feeling of impending catastrophe, and that it will be ALL MY FAULT. Usually by day that feeling ebbs. I have a job with a lot of responsibility and I literally have to repeat to myself, "If this venture fails, it's not going to start the Apocalypse." I just try to maintain a sense of scope and remind myself to get things done one day at a time. My husband points out that I'm never satisfied until I'm slightly overextended -- but I do have a Type A personality and the high blood pressure to prove it, so I guess that's true.
* My link leads to a live performance on "Later with Jools Holland." We don't get this show in the States, and more's the pity, because everyone awesome performs on it!! In this performance, Kirsty gives a perfect rendition of her song, with two funny aspects: 1, she is wearing extremely sensible shoes, unlike the persona in her song, and 2, she is absolutely deadpan throughout, when she has one of the sharpest wits of any songwriter ever. The album this song is from, "Tropical Brainstorm" is one of my favorite albums of all time. ...It's typical in this journal that I start with "what are you afraid of" and end up digressing about one of my favorite musicians. :D