spn fic: "Dean's Present" (G)

[fannishliss]

title:  Dean's Present
Author: fannishliss
rating: G
a ficlet for runedgirl  who prompted:  "Dean, Sam, Christmas 1991, homemade gift. G rated schmoopy gen"
Hope you enjoy!

===

Sam looked on nervously as Dean unwrapped the present.

Would his brother like it?

Most importantly, would it be cool?

Things had to be cool for Dean to like them.  Sam wasn't cool.  Dean took care of him, and Sammy knew Dean loved him, because big brothers have to love their little brothers, so of course Dean did — but Sam wasn't cool, and he knew better than to think that Dean liked him.  

"Do you like it?" Sammy asked, his heart in his throat.

Dean just stared at the present. He looked up at Sam.  He swallowed.  Finally he spoke, and the look in his eyes was terrible.

Oh, God.  He hated it.

"Why... I mean, um... did you make this?"

"Yeah," Sammy choked.  "I know it's not as good as dad's, but it buttons, so that makes it private."

"But... why?" Dean asked.

"Well, Dad always writes in his, and I know I'm not supposed to look, and I figured, you're big now, almost twelve, so maybe..."

"I just... wanna... write private things?" Dean guessed. Sam nodded.

 The look in Dean's eyes was a little easier to bear now, but not by much.  It went from being sad and angry and a little panicky to sad and, Sam didn't know really, kind of, brotherly?  like there was a hug in his brother's eyes?

"Is this like, a pocket out of that pair of jeans you split the rear of?"

"Yeah.  But I washed them!"

"So you gave me a present you had on your ass!"

Sam turned red.  He hung his head.  Dean hated it.

"Aw, Sammy, don't look like that.  I love it."

Sam couldn't be hearing right.  Dean... loved it?

"It's cool.  No, it is!  Dude, you erased DEAN W onto the cover and it totally fits in there so it won't get torn."

Sam swallowed and dared to look at Dean.  Dean still wasn't smiling, and his ears were fiery red, but he was examining the present. At least it was worthy of examination.

"And three colors of bic pen to go with it," Dean remarked.

"Black, blue and red.  Dad loves red.  I gave the rest to him," Sam explained.  

He thought for sure his Dad would like a package of red ink pens for Christmas.  He was always writing things in his journal then circling and underlining lots of things in red, private things Sam would never dream of looking at.

"That's an awesome present, Sam, thanks," Dean finally said.  

Sam looked into his brother's eyes.  He still didn't understand why, if his present was so awesome, it made Dean so sad.

But Dad was always sad too.

He guessed it had to do with growing up.

"You're welcome, Dean," he said. "I'm glad you like it." Then Dean came over and hugged him, and that was the best. Now that Dean was almost twelve, hugs were usually saved back for nightmares.

Maybe he'd have a journal one day and he could write private things too, but Sam made a promise to himself: at least some of the things he'd write down would be happy.

Comments

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear god, I am The Most Ridiculous Sap in the World for wee!Sam giving Dean (or his dad) presents! GAH, this is adorable, and also so poignant, and I think you may have killed me.

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

thanks so much for your lovely comment! :D

sorry about killing you, I'll see about getting someone to bring you back asap. :)

PS, I love your icon -- mind if I rob?

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

PS, I love your icon -- mind if I rob?

Thanks! Help yourself. :)

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

thanks very much!!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

OMG, this could not BE more perfect!!! I adore the boys at this age, Sam still so limited in his understanding, trying so hard to please his big brother who he unabashedly adores and so heartbreakingly worried that he isn't up to the task. And Dean, omg Dean, just old enough to begin to grasp the complexity of life and relationships and not old enough to make sense of them -- especially the ridiculously complex Winchester ones. The love between the two of them comes through in so many heartwarming ways, from Sam's doubt and desperation to the flaming red tips of Dean's ears. Thank you for taking my little prompt and totally making my day! *hugs*

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

You are so welcome! I'm really glad you liked it. I loved the prompt and trying to think what Sammy would make for Dean -- and when I realized it would be A Journal Like Dad's my heart went pitterpatter! Dean's heart stopped when he thought Sam was giving him a Hunter's journal -- but that world doesn't crack open for Sam for one more year, so it is a poignant moment, with Dean still bearing that burden alone. I haven't written much weechesters, but they are always each other's whole world. :)

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Oh, the undercurrents here. Poor Sam,just wanting to give Dean something cool and grown up. Poor Dean, already grown up and now he's got his own journal to write horrible, terrifying things in.

Everything is in Dean's eyes, so I'm not surprised Sam could see the hug there.

Lovely and heartbreaking.

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

weechesters are often a bit heartbreaking! Yeah, Poor Sammy had no idea yet what John's journal was about. Poor Dean!


Thanks for your lovely comment!

[tahirire.livejournal.com]

Oh break my heart why don't you? Ack! *hugs Dean, hugs Sam, blows nose*

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

It is really angst for a Christmas fluff fic. But that's wee-chesters for you!!

thanks for commenting! :)

inspirational icon for Sammy to drink his milk :P

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

thanks very much -- so glad it worked for you!

[tcs1121.livejournal.com]

This? Was just right. I loved it.

Well done!

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

thanks very much -- so glad you liked it!

[quovadimus83.livejournal.com]

this is great! Dean is such a sucker for anything that Sam does, nerdy or otherwise. & Sam! what a good little bro XD

[fannishliss.livejournal.com]

poor Dean, for a second there Dean thought Sam knew about John's journal, which scared him.... but then he calmed down when he figured out Sam's intention.

glad you enjoyed it!

[harrigan.livejournal.com]

Here on a rec from killabeez and now I understand... I can't imagine a more perfect fic to enjoy on Christmas!

Thank you for gifting us all with this gem!

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

Awwwww!!!